So here comes- another estrogen-driven rant on dating, so please consider yourself warned.
So I hate dating. I hate that there are rules and guidelines that everyone is just suppose to magically know and even though these rules seem to change every few years everyone is just suppose to secretly keep up with said adjustments and clandestinely figure out the appropriate way to sell ourselves to the opposite gender in a way that is both memorable and adorable while still being, at least on some level, genuine (as one who constantly has a hard time keeping up with the secret dating rules, I cannot tell you what level of genuine is considered appropriate, but my guess would be somewhere around 72% from what I have seen). All this is just to even begin dating, never mind the procedural processes and ending etiquette.
I hate stupid sayings like "be yourself, but make sure it's your best self" like I have a closet of selves that I can pull my Sunday best out of instead of just being me all the time. "You marry who you date" is another one--I don't date very much, and I don't marry anyone. Or, "beauty is only skin deep" paired with "you are beautiful inside and out". Granted, having gone through a cadaver lab I definitely see the beauty in muscle and sinew and organs but I somehow don't think that is what people are talking about here. The real question is, then, why all the anatomy analogies?
I hate trying to guess what I should do next, who I should smile at and when I should not smile, when it's alright to giggle and when someone is being completely sappily serious and giggling not only hurts feelings but burns bridges as well. Come to that, I hate being sappy and serious anyway, and I'm not crazy about bridges or fire either. I hate not knowing if someone likes me or not. I know that is stupid and juvenile and middle school, but there you go. More than the perpetual singledom it's the uncertainty that really drives me crazy. What if he doesn't like me, or even more scary, what if he does? And if he stinking does, why doesn't he ask me out?
I like my rules--they may not be right, but they are simple and easy to understand.
IF he likes you, he will ask you out for at least 2 dates--otherwise don't waste time what-if-ing about anything.
IF dating someone feels hard and awkward and you don't really feel like you can talk to them after said 2-3 dates, it's probably not worth it. Don't waste each others' time.
IF you are in the same ward, think twice--peeing in your own pool makes everything more complicated.
IF you are friends first, things tend to work better.
And most importantly: IF you are unhappy being single, you will probably be unhappy in a relationship. Just be happy and date other happy people. That is all.
Great rules right? Why can't I make the rules? I need to have a serious discussion with the secret dating rules creation committee and submit some very reasonable revisions to their complicated mess. My sayings would be things like- "if you don't ask me out I'll never know if you like me" or "the friend-zone is actually a fun place full of... friends!" or "a smile and a hello is not the same thing as 'I think you are the one' " or my personal favorite, "just say what you stinking mean, dang it."
