So my first graduate school semester is over. Wild. It was different than I pictured it would be in both good and bad ways. I’m definitely not in Utah anymore, and again that is both good and bad. There are strange things I thought I wouldn’t miss that I do. Everyone living on top of each other for example. Strange how when your ward is all concentrated into the same two or three apartment buildings you are able to get together far more frequently. Also, it is bad cause there are really no secrets. You can’t really avoid letting the whole ward know you went on a date when everyone has a perfect window view of the awkward doorstep scene. Still, it was a fun thing too. I remember the time I was over at Jackie’s and I broke the door (in my defense, the knob was barely hanging on when I got there) and we laughed so loud Emma brought her home teachers over to make sure everything was alright and so they were able to fix it. Or hearing Alex dance upstairs and pounding the ceiling with our broomstick to remind her that we were downstairs trying to study. Walking to school without fear of being mugged was nice too.
Still, grad school, while different, is still top notch. I really truly passionately love going to school, especially when the entire curriculum is focused on the human body. People have asked me if this is harder than earning my bachelor degree, and I’m not entirely sure how to answer them. By the way, where does the word bachelor come from? Why bachelor for everyone? Why not bachelorette or married man or married woman depending on your status? Strange… Anywho, but as to being harder, I’m not sure that it is harder or easier—just different. It is certainly more intense, and not just because for the first time in the short history of my mortal existence I have a social life but because the workload itself is more intense. It also requires that I am much more self-motivated. Also, it is a lot more hands on and group-work and overall knowledge application and learning as opposed to just fact gathering, information storage, and studying to pass the test. As I said, good things.
There have been some great moments. The other day we pulled the brains out of our cadavers. That was literally one of the most amazing moments since coming here—almost spiritual for me. This lady that we have been working on died at 99 yet her muscles were toned. She was clearly in a lot of pain with osteoarthritis yet she had defined muscles in her legs. I find myself wondering what kind of person she was. Where she came from and how she reacted when someone woke her up too early. I wonder if she was a mother and if so if she ever felt overwhelmed. I wonder what she believed and if she had a short temper when she was hungry. Who was she? I can tell you where her muscles are, that she broke her femur several years ago but the bone started to heal over the plate they nailed to her thigh. I can tell you that she had bad varicose veins and that standing must have been excruciatingly painful for her right kneecap but I can’t tell you what her favorite food was or if she enjoyed long walks in the summer. I hope someday I get to meet her. I guess that’s why holding her brain—the organ that literally was her—her personality, her desires, her dreams, her passions, her thoughts, her reactions, her life really—was so absolutely amazing for me.
Another fun day was the first dinner we had with our class alone. Meeting everyone helped me realize some important things. First, I am much braver than I use to be. I am more confident, less timid (not the same thing), and more friendly. I have wanted my whole life to be more like I have become. What a cool blessing! It kind of came all the sudden, but I’m sure it’s a combination of many different things. I’m just glad it has finally come. Second, my class is chuck full of great people. Fun, amusing, accepting, and eager, everyone has been great. Third, while I am very far from home, I am going to be fine. I am an unabashed home body as I have the world’s most amazing family, but I have learned better than ever before to stand a bit on my own. Another big blessing. Along with that came the most important realization—I am going to be fine. Everything is going to work out just the way it should if I just stay close to God and follow him as I should. Everything is going to be great.
The rest of the greatness of grad school is wrapped up in tiny moment packages I could never number and don’t really add up to anything but make it what it is. Michael walking in with the pronouncement that he either needed a girlfriend or a puppy cause he wanted to cuddle something. Bryce—the vociferous anti-Texan—slipping and saying ya’ll. Emily blushing on cue when we took her sock of to pretend to be daintily horrified. Mike’s picture hanging on the blackboard. Just amazingness concentrated into a thousand tiny minutes. I am so happy to be here.
