Why I am still Single

While it is an established truth that few things are more irritating than being asked "Why are you still single?" This is something I have recently had reason to reflect on briefly and I officially have made a decision. For the record, I strongly believe that I am NOT single because a loving Heavenly Father wants me to be single.

I agree that there are many lessons I have to learn and that God has the wonderful ability to make any situation a wonderful one that will help me to learn the things He wants me to learn. However, I do not believe that He is purposely keeping me single until I learn those lessons. I also do not believe that He has one specific person for me to marry that He is waiting to "introduce me to", I don't believe He has some master blue-print that requires that I remain single until 32 years and 5 months in order to match evenly with some quota, and I do not believe He levies singlehood as a punishment for some misdeed.

I am mostly likely single because of a combination of circumstance, personality quirks, decisions I made, and decisions of those around me. Because Heavenly Father loves me He has been able to make my life something wonderful and exciting. He accomplished this not by manipulating my life such that I stay single, but by working with the life that I have and sending me more blessings than I will ever deserve. He loves me, and I love Him and He will not give up on me. Still I hold strong to the belief that while God is the reason I am happy while I am single, He is not the reason I am single while I am happy.

But... I still love chocolate...

I am a dark chocolate lover--the darker the better. I eat all the dark chocolate mini's that everyone else avoids, my chocolate milk usually looks more like coffee, and I rarely to eat ice cream unless it has some sort of rich chocolate flavor. At the risk of being repetitive, I am a dark chocolate lover.

That doesn't mean I hate all things vanilla, cause I don't. I wouldn't turn down vanilla ice cream on a chocolate brownie (though I'd still prefer the chocolate) and I do like a little bit of vanilla squirted into my root beer when I visit the fountain drink, but I can't think of anything vanilla flavored I prefer over its chocolate counterpart except... nope, there isn't anything.

But here's the rub--sometimes, vanilla is just better for you. Sometimes it's easier to come by. Why does it seem like vanilla is always available... always the one that picks me while I dream longingly of chocolate? I do know that too much of a good thing is just that--too much. I once nibbled on a corner of a 99% cocoa chocolate bar and it was awful--even as I write this sentence my face is crinkling at the memory I wish I could forget. Somehow even after that I still choose chocolate over vanilla every singly time. Maybe though, it's time for my taste to mature. They say that your tastes can change with age, and maybe it's time to find the virtue in vanilla. After all, vanilla is sweet and smooth and pleasant. It's just not exciting. I grew up on chocolate and peanut butter and almond brickle and fireworks, so vanilla is just a little bit of a let down. I grew up with flying dinner rolls, green eggs and ham, family dances complete with air guitar tennis rackets, water fights, and the perfect concentration of dark chocolate. These treasured memories don't make vanilla wrong, they just make it... vanilla.

And no matter what I try and do, it seems I can't give up my dreams of chocolate, even in the face of high-quality vanilla that is both readily available and eager to be tasted.

What can I do? I am in love with chocolate.