First of all, yes, I am suppose to be studying. That, of course is not new so no worries. In other news, I have decided today that there is far too much information available to the world at large. For example, while running down a busy street on mile five I was reminded that among the many skills I lack, I do not have the knowledge nor the ability to remove the phlegm that works its way from my sinus cavities, down the back of my throat and sticks like peanut butter over the little hole that is ideally reserved for transferring air to the suffering lungs of said masochistic runner. Instead of turning my head and sending the projectile into the grass like a cool looking runner I stand on the sidewalk like an idiot doing my best to scrape the goop off my tongue as it dribbles down my chin and the cars and people passing by speculate who the sad spectacle might be.
Like the savvy student (if not the sophisticated spitter) that I am I determined to do my research to delve deeper into the subject. Urbandictionary.com describes this action this way: hawk a loogie--to suck in nasal material into the throat and then push into the mouth to make it material available to spit out. A more medical definition also available online includes the following, this time spelled "how to hock a loogie": The combined sound of snorting hard a paranasal tubercular sinus oyster from nose to back of throat then adjusting position by teasing it around the soft palate prior to firing forcefully from mouth. Upon further investigation I found fifteen videos on youtube, almost three thousand step by step directions on google, and even discovered that there is a South Park character named Loogie. The point, however, is that I can now gain enough information on any given subject (say, how to hawk a loogie) that without any skill or ability whatsoever I can be educated to way beyond any sensible level--almost enough to be called an expert without any real life experience. Isn't that ridiculous? Well, rather than harp on or educate myself further in useless subjects I think I will try and get some real-life experience with forcefully expectorating excess mucus and phlegm before it succeeds in cutting off my oxygen supply.
