America the Beautiful

Every now and then I feel moved to become an artist. It runs in my family--my mother, my grandmother, and especially my great grandmother on my dad's side are all accomplished painters. Mom use to sell her toll-painted projects, Grandma's artwork fits right in with the other beautiful watercolor pieces on display in her home, and my Great-Grandma won first prize in the state fair with her painting of the lion and the lamb. You might think, as do I, that it probably runs in my blood and though buried deep, some magical day if I hold my tongue right and am smiled on by the mystical art nymphs I too will graduate from stick figures. Once I actually made a very convincing pencil-drawing of an empty toilet paper roll I tried a full roll with less success. Not even kidding. That being said, I have had the blessing to spend the last year as a migrant, living out of my car and moving every few months. In some ways it was a little difficult or lonely but mostly it was exciting and adventurous to meet so many wonderful new people and see so much of this amazing country. One of my new friends I met on this cross-country pilgrimage asked me the other day which area I liked best, and in thinking about it I decided I should write about the beauty of the various places I have been.

Any discussion about beautiful scenery will always need to start with home--Texas, in my case. My beloved home state is characterized by unbridled skies, long flat vistas, searing muggy heat that still surprises me with its intensity, and (in spite of most people's Hollywood-inspired perceptions) large leafy trees that provide useless shade and look even bigger than they are because the aren't forced to compete with mountains for breaking up the skyline. Like most people, there is that additional ethereal  "being home" beauty that is no more imagined than it is inexpiable.

Although Utah wasn't part of my "around-the-country-tour" last year I did spend several years there in school and have visited at least once each year since my graduation in 2009. Utah is rugged and imposing, majestic and almost violent in its beauty. The view from Bryce Canyon is quite literally breathtaking.



 
After graduating in Utah I went to Spokane, Washington right up by Coeur D'alene, Idaho for grad school. Spokane was too cold in the winter for my taste, but the other seasons were lovely. There are no large mountains where I was living, though they are readily available for the many outdoor enthusiasts in the area but there are rolling hills all through the city. Many of the roads have to be closed down in the winter because even with salt and snowplows the steep hills the roads are built on make them impassable. It is very green there, but my favorite part of the city is the diversity of everything; the people, the landscape, the weather, and even the restaurants. There is one in downtown Spokane where you can get deep fried Oreos if you know to ask for them.

Medford, Oregon was full of orchards. I was able to work one day in a pear orchard and even though I was there in the winter when most of the leaves were gone pictures of what the orchard sprang into mere weeks later were bright and friendly and beautiful. Medford also has moss, foliage, wildflowers, and blackberries everywhere and frothy fog most mornings.  Even in the winter, Medford was friendly.

Vancouver, Washington was also green, but green barely begins to describe it. Who knew there could ever be so very many shades of green in one place at one time? Vancouver is perhaps one of the most gorgeously lush places I have ever been. It did rain almost every day while I was there, and the resulting carpet of luxuriant forestry is amazing. Glistening lakes and rivers accent the forests of the region.

Last, I end up in Arizona. Going from Vancouver to Arizona was a bit of a culture shock, but even Arizona has its own beauty. Mysterious and romantic, the desert rolls out as a deadly force of heat and hard-fought survival in a world of dust, painted rocks, cacti, and brilliant neon sunsets. This will be my new home.

 

And so I am left to marvel at the beauty of the country I live in and for the moment I am left to leave the artistry up to the Creator while I marvel in his skill and diversity.

Tony Horton makes me cry... I hate him, but I love him

In life, there are some things you do just because they are good for you. Eating beets, washing behind your ears, making your bed, and balancing your checkbook are just examples of this phenomenon. For me, exercise falls in this category. I like feeling strong--being able to run up a few flights of stairs without being winded, able to carry groceries and boxes, able to work all day as walking, standing, pushing and lifting people back to health and not be exhausted at the end of the day. I also enjoy the feeling at the end of a workout, like I finished something hard and now it's out of the way. Mostly though, I feel like I have to work out because I tell people every day to stay in shape and exercise, so if I don't do it too then I feel guilty. All that to say, working out is not on my list of things-to-do-for-fun or even things-to-occupy-myself-with-when-I'm-bored.

This summer me and my sister have been trying to do P90X; an exercise program designed to either kill you or make you really strong after 13 weeks of difficult daily workouts that last between 60 and 90 minutes each. Disgusting, crazy, painful, and stupid can all be used to describe this behavior, but still we persist. I suppose if you piled up all the time people spend making their beds (not necessarily me, as my time may not add up to much) that may be seen as overboard too, right? Bottom line is that it is hard and difficult. We are sore every day after the previous day's work out, and it seems like we switch daily which of us has to work to diligently persuade the other to work out that day. Still, we can't stop because we've already put so much time and effort into what we've dune thus far that it seems wasteful at this point to not just go ahead and finish the program to see if at the end we are indeed either dead or fit. We are on week 6 and the jury is still out on which  if either state is the case.

Perhaps the worst part of the workout, however, is Tony Horton--the man who runs each workout.  He is super muscular (perhaps proving that bronze and brains don't always go together?) and he is cheerful and consistent, but somehow listening to him every day trying to be funny with the same jokes over and over again is more than a little exhausting. The following are all actual quotes from the workout videos.

"Don’t stop breathin’. You stop, you die." wonderful advice, really. "Tip of the day-don’t smash your face." again with the helpful advice. "Like a pterodactyl backing out of trouble. Kah!" this one, wouldn't be so bad if he didn't use it on several workouts, which means by the end of the 13 weeks you have  heard it over 30 times. "Go ahead and laugh, these are excellent jokes." His quote, not mine. "He makes Gumbie look like the Tin Man!" This one is during a stretch and is actually a little bit funny. "Don’t bite your toes, Aarg. I recommend foot spray." This is during a cobbler stretch, and yes, he actually says that. “Let the weight of your head do the work. Mine weighs 600 lbs; there’s nothing in it." Truer words, friend. Truer words. “Lets make it x like… not exlax thats somethin different” I'm telling you, you can't make this stuff up.

I could go on, but hopefully you get the picture. Perhaps not the brightest crayon in the box. Still, he is cheerful and works hard. That being said, sometimes after walking around observing and commenting on everyone sweating their faces off he likes to jump in at the very end and brag about his superior form and speed, sometimes even making fun of his less-effective work out buddies. This wins no love from me, as my form and speed definitely leaves much to be desired, even compared to the less-than-perfect participants behind the self-proclaimed perfectionist.

I wish I could go on, but the dreaded Tony time has come again and today it's my turn to encourage my sister that yes, we do want to exercise. Bottom line, I had better look awesome in seven weeks or I will be left to bemoan the loss of perfectly healthy brain cells.