It's calling my mom three times in two days,
talking about nothing, a river of words
hoping that she'll tell me it's going to be alright"
just one more time.
It's aching to be held while pushing their arms away,
mine tight against my chest so nothing falls out
wishing for someone to love me "as is"
no reasons needed.
It's smiling because I have to, no tears allowed
nodding in the right places, agreeable bobble-head
holding back my own "...self"
cause no one wants to hear it.
It's tired and lonely, a bittersweet tang
of goodness and warm summer camping trips
the who I was and who I am
in an uneasy alliance
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