I was recently called as the relief society president in my ward. This has been an adventure--a frightening and overwhelming and clarifying one that shows me my flaws and weaknesses in brilliant blinding clarity. Needless to say, it is not a role I am very good at just yet. Maybe after seventeen years (a term I am not willing or able to fill) I would figure it out a little, but as for now I am just going to have to let the Lord carry the brunt of everything. A friend suggested that I might do better if I had a "relief society president" hat. A personality I could put on to fulfill my relief society duties--one that is always happy and willing and accepting and righteous. In physical therapy school I had a professor who suggested the same thing as we became physical therapists--that we put on a hat that was confident, accepting, patient, wise, and never let anything or anyone get to them. I've had the same advice with regards to dating. Put on a hat--make it a cute one--one that is adorable and lovable and not too capable cause guys don't like that, but one that is still smart and perpetually cheerful, and unquestionably a good cook.
Here's the thing tho--I really don't have a hat head. I put one on and my frizzy hair flies everywhere and betrays me for exactly who I am--me.
I only know how to be me.Sure I am usually cheerful and happy but sometimes I have a bad day too--one where I can't smile at everybody. Sometimes I am tired, sometimes I am grumpy, sometimes I don't know what to say or how to say it, sometimes there are things I just don't want to do even if I end up doing them, sometimes I don't know how to help people the way I need to. Sometimes... more like always... I am awkward around guys--especially if they are guys I kind of like. Hat or no hat, I am just plain me. I don't know how to be anyone else and trying to change my personalities at the drop of a hat (bwahaha for cheesy puns) is not something I am comfortable with nor is it something I feel like I have the ability to do.
I think that I would rather improve my personality than my hat collection anyway.
1 comment:
YAY! Good luck with your new calling! It is hard, but it kinda reminded me of being a missionary because you have to rely on the spirit so much more, and try to develop attributes that may not come naturally to you. Either way, it is a fantastic growing experience and you will touch many lives!
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