The Worst Delightful Camping Trip

This entry is an attempted copy of my sister’s style. I am not nearly as creative, talented, or artistic with Microsoft paint as she clearly is but I will do my best. This story really needs illustrations as it is too unbelievably craptastic to be believed any other way. Here we go.

I love camping. We use to do it a lot when I was younger before my dad was called to be so involved in the scouts program that he got tired of camping. Still, as a child I learned to love waking up to the sounds of birds, eating breakfast with the smell of charcoal, looking at skies bursting with stars, and even putting up the tent and sleeping on the ground. So I decided that we needed to go camping with a group of friends. So, on a rather ordinary Friday night we took off, cars packed with gear, arrangements made, for a great fun camping trip in the mountains of Flagstaff.

This is what it was supposed to look like. If only this was my only illustration.

Our first misadvanture happened on the highway. While listening to Hakuna Matata from Disney’s The Lion King soundtrac a terrible thumping noise. We pulled to the side of the road to find that our back driver’s side tire was totally destroyed. Luckily we had a chivalrous boy in our car who took changing the tire on while we did obnoxious dance moves to try and ward the 90-mph careening semis into the other lane to prevent his imminient death while crouched precariously on the shoulder of the road over the devastated remains of the tire. After a sucessful change we continued our journey at a much slower donut-friendly pace. Somewhere along the remaining half-hour or so driving to our campsite destination the other car called to inform us that there were no available camping spots but that they would keep looking. We made it to the parking lot of Discount Tire in Flagstaff and spent the next hour or so fielding calls from the other car who were not finding anything anywhere while we slept in the car. Finally, around midnight we decided we were done and decided to check into the hotel across the way.

The sign advertised these amenities:
1- free wi fi (this one was true)
2- newly remodeled (this one was DEFINITELY not)
3- comfortable beds (debatable)
4- color TV (this part of the sign was the biggest and brightest haha)

While I have stayed at less reputable places this certainly was no welcoming wilderness canopy. Granted, most of us were so tired we just collapsed where we landed (boys on one side and girls on the other, obviously) too tired to really even consider the propriety of our sleeping arrangements. The last thing I remember before slipping into a long-awaited (if oft-interrupted) slumber was the sound of sirens blowing past our hotel and someone saying something about how well that sound fit into our current sleeping arrangements.

After a slightly awkward scene of taking turns in the dinky bathroom morning and a bit of puttering around and getting lost again we found a park to cook breakfast at. While there I decided to grab the business end of a hot pan, burning all of my fingers on my right hand. The friend handing me the pan burned his hand too in a valiant but futile effort to prevent my stupidity. He handled his pain well, but this event left me grumpy and snappish all day and I found that the best way to stave off the throbbing was to wave my hand up in the air.

After breakfast, we went hiking. This picture really is just cause I wanted to use crayons in the computer paint program which is both amazing and ridiculous.

The hike was beautiful and fun, even if the top did look like something from Mordor in the Lord of the Rings. Still, it was a beautiful, cool, fantastic way to spend our day. We kind of broke into 2 groups that flexed and flowed a little. The tire-changing champion was in a hurry to get to an activity back in Phoenix so one group raced down the mountain while the other went at a reasonable pace. Fun story attached to this—when the fast group got to the bottom they found out the keys, phone, and wallet for Mr. Tire Changer were locked in the other car. Luckily he still had a ride back but he had to make it to his appointment without any of his stuff.

Coming down we realized that one member of our party was not with either of the two descending groups. We called his name and looked for him but neither group found him as we descended. Luckily he did make it down the mountain. I was sleeping on a rock when he came down before the second group made it. Unfortunately both of our phones were dead so we just let everyone else worry while we drank the rest of our water supply.

Luckily we all made it back to Phoenix without further incident but this will have to go down as my worst camping trip EVER. Quite possibly THE worst camping trip ever as we didn’t even go camping.  Why I am still smiling as I write about it is beyond me. I guess even utter disaster can be fun and delightful.