Martina McBride sings a song called “For the Girls” that has a verse that goes something like this; “this is for all you girls about twenty five, in a little apartment just trying to get by. Living on your dreams and spagettios, wonderin’ where your life is gonna go.” It is one of my favorites right now cause that is definitely how I feel most of the time. I can’t even say I’m living paycheck to paycheck as it’s more like plasma donation to plasma donation, and I happen to prefer cereal and tuna helper to spagettios, I certainly have learned a whole lot more about being hungry, cold, worried, and lonely here than anywhere else. The cool part is that essential life lessons are served with all that emotional soup mess—like learning that things really do always look better after a good night’s sleep, sharing what little we have somehow makes what we’ve got last a little longer, smiling until you really feel it really does work, if you are lonely chances are really good that others around you are also, a cute coat can really enhance an outfit, and you would be surprised what you can live through with a little determination, some steady prayer, and a lot of help. Most of all though, I’ve learned that God can make miracles out of anything—and He often does.
Last quarter I ran into a bit of a conundrum. The quarter before my car died and I literally had to empty my bank account to fix it. I have been blessed with generous parents who make sure I have enough to get by on but January when I came back everything was a little delayed as it was right after Christmas and everything. This wouldn’t have been a problem except that my money and my food supply ran out at the exact same time and what little I had left over I needed for textbooks. I had one month to survive on half a loaf of bread, 1/3 a gallon of milk, two cans of soup, some left-over pasta, a few granola bars, and half a box of cereal. I ate lunch at the institute building maybe three times a week and I probably still could have been okay (as I said, you can survive on very little if you have to) but the bread went moldy—I’m not talking about little spots here and there, I’m talking it was totally riddled with sour salty mold. I may have still made it but the milk went bad next and I knew I wouldn’t have enough food to last, so I ate it anyway. I got a little gassy, but nowhere near as ill as I thought I would. I though—wow. God is blessing me to stay healthy even though I’m hungry and drinking sour milk. It was pretty cool. Still though, I was hungry and gassy too now. Luckily, the blessings kept coming. I went to a ward chili cook-off for FHE about a week after my milk went bad and one of the bishopric members gave me his leftovers and suddenly I had a whole bunch of food. The next miracle came when I was helping to clean the church that Saturday and in the fridge there was a leftover half gallon of milk! They gave it to me and I made it until February with a can of soup to spare. I also learned quite a bit and developed a whole new level of empathy for those who go hungry. I had it cushy—not even that bad but I did go to bed with my stomach grouching each night and it was hard! I also learned that God provides in ways I can’t even imagine, and that He strengthens us to handle what we think we can’t. And I hope I forever remember the miracle of the milk. I only had about a week of bad milk before God provided me milk in a way I never ever would have even thought of. I felt so loved and cared for-the tiny details of my life perfectly looked after.
There have been several other miracles—large and small, obvious and subtle, but tonight I had another major one that I will not soon forget as the timing of it was absolutely amazing. About the same time I ran out of food my driver’s side window broke. I think it was the mini motor or something but basically it wouldn’t go up or down. I decided to wait till Daddy or Uncle Scott could help me fix it so I jimmied it up and secured it with packing tape. Not beautiful but functional and as long as I keep the tape fresh I don’t think anyone will be able to break in as I tape it both on the inside and the outside. This is a real concern as one car was stolen and one broken into last Sunday from the church—not two miles from my house. Anyway, so it was a temporary fix but I figured it’d be alright. Anywho, so it was alright. Tonight I went to the temple with some big questions, wondering if I had messed everything up, if I had unintentionally ruined something important by being my normal idiotic self, if I still had hope to achieve my dreams or if I was just a self-destructive flunky destined for an eternity in my own idiocracy. You get the idea. Anyway, so it was a beautiful temple session (they always are) but I still wasn’t sure exactly that I felt the comfort I was searching for. Then I realized—I had locked my keys in the trunk. The temple is about a 40 minute drive from my house, my phone, keys, and purse were all in the trunk. So besides five dollars in cash, my recommend, and my Safeway card I was stuck with nothing. I don’t even know anyone’s number except my parents and that’s long distance plus it was 11:30pm in Texas by the time my session ended. Then I remembered—my car window is broken and I hadn’t had time to change the tape for about two weeks. I tore the outside tape off and forced the window down—the tape was old enough that I was able to bust through it without that much trouble, and I was in! Who knew all those months ago how grateful I would be that my window was broken tonight? I spent the drive back home glancing at my sagging window and laughing. God can make miracles out of messes. Maybe I am a mess. Maybe my self-destructive tendencies do create all kinds of unnecessary problems for me and others. Maybe all that is true, but God can not only fix it but can bring good out of it. All I need to do is trust Him and do all that I can do and have faith that in the end as long as I keep the Savior at the center of my life, everything will work out in ways that I cannot now imagine. God makes miracles out of milk. And messes. I’ll have to remember that.
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