Anecdotes that I hate

Before reading this, be warned; I am slightly grumpy, fairly homesick, moderately disenchanted, and probably PMSing. Luckily for me school starts again tomorrow so I'll have something to distract me from my own negativity (hopefully). If not, at least I will be too busy to write so you won't have to read about it.

#1--there is no place like home
Reason: This is true of course. There is no place like home. There are both good and bad parts of home and they can't be found anywhere else. However, introducing this into young impressionable mindes who are forced to be far from home is nothing short of pointless anguish. What is the point in trying to bloom where you are planted (another one I hate, but probably won't bother writing about. I don't do fauna) if you lost your only home when you left it? And what about when you have two homes--one with your parents and one with your future family. We are obviously assuming you are better at getting married than I am. At this point do you say, "there is no place like home...except for my other one," or "there are no two places quite like my homes". Wanna talk complicated, how bout those wierdos who have secret second lives with two seperate families. They have to say either; "there's no place like my home, cause my other one is totally different,"or "I plead the fifth cause I illegailly tried to create somewhere that wasn't quite like my home. Isn't that wierd?"

#2--Every cloud has a silver lining
Reason: This is not true. Usually when the nasty gross snow, rain, hail, hurricane, or tornado clouds come--the ones that do the real damage--never have a silver lining. It is more like a wall of death in the sky that is all grey with nothing else. The only time there is said silver lining is when the sun is breaking up the last of the storm or when a young child, no doubt confused by this strange saying, draws them that way. Metaphorically, this is also not true. Frequently bad events are just that--bad events without a happy ending. Failing a test for example is just bad. That's all. Getting a ticket or having your car breat down--also just bad. There is no "whew! What a relief to pay 120 dollars for accidently running that red light. At least I got there 1.7 seconds earlier." or anything like that. This one is decieving and wrong.

#3--If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
Reason: This has a great sentiment, but unless life also gives you a little sugar your lemonade is going to be just as sour and miserable as the lemons on their own.

#4--Life goes on.
Reason: This is also true but completely unhelpful and does nothing for moving toward a solution. If this applies to someone they likely are in more need of a shoulder to cry on and some strong dark chocolate along with an all night talk through than this callous phrase. And sometimes, it's not true. Luckily I've never had anything this bad happen to me, but sometimes really bad things happen that change everything and while life itself may go on, it is forever altered.

#5--Girls, don't waste your emotions and tears on boys--they would wrather be with a hamburger than with you.
Reason: I aknowledge that this is not always true, but it is often true. This one comes from a good family friend and is not so much of a bad antidote as it is a depressing thought. However, the older I get, the more true it feels. I think I am looking in the wrong places for a hamburger lover, cause the ones I am looking for certainly don't seem as interested in me as they would be in a double pounder with extra cheese.

#6--The only way you can truly fail is to never try.
Reason: Absolutely false. Sometimes, you give all you have and you still fail. Better would be to say "you should always try but even if you fail remember that your worth is not based on your failures but on who you are." Unfortunately, this would not look quite as good embroidered onto a pillw, would it.

#7--No pain, no gain.
Reason: This objection is based on my future profession. When injured people think that, they suceed only in making their injuries worse.

I'm sure there are others, but that rant was about enough to cool me off. The moral of the story: cliches meant to cheer people up are just about as bad as ones that are meant to pick up girls. : )